It's been a long Winter...
I am enough
I've been fairly quiet recently, which I apologise for. I have been pretty bad with my back and I have been trying to concentrate a little more on myself, which everyone needs to do from time to time. It's been a long hard winter that really took its toll on my physical and mental health. Living in Norway, over a third of the year the outdoors is covered in snow and ice, and while it makes for beautiful scenery and photos, it also makes living ten times harder than it needs to be. With my back and how it is, I struggled to go outdoors by myself in danger of slipping on the ice. It's also hard to be outside for long periods of time with it being so cold... this winter it got down to -30 degrees outside. No matter how many hundreds of layers of clothes I put on, the metal work in spine gets so incredibly cold and when it does, it becomes stiff and starts to squeak when I move. Lets just say its like having an ice pop down your spine (super uncomfortable).
Certain activities I am able to do at the time, for example I can go on long walks with my dogs for an hour or so, or I can go to work for a couple of hours... but then as a consequence I end up in a lot of pain afterwards. I have to try and figure out what is worth the pain and what isn't. I could sit at home for the rest of my life and not do anything just incase it hurts... but I really think that is the wrong attitude to have. I would rather try something once or twice to say that I have at least tried before writing it off completely. Also whether the happiness or joy that something brings me sometimes outweighs the pain. I make sure that I do something everyday that gives me a purpose, that I enjoy or that makes me simply learn something. It's very easy to just sit at home and feel sorry for yourself with a physical disability, but this is a very vicious downward spiral. What do you everyday that makes you feel good about yourself?
Be kind, always.
LP x
IT'S BEEN A LONG WINTER
I've been fairly quiet recently, which I apologise for. I have been pretty bad with my back and I have been trying to concentrate a little more on myself, which everyone needs to do from time to time. It's been a long hard winter that really took its toll on my physical and mental health. Living in Norway, over a third of the year the outdoors is covered in snow and ice, and while it makes for beautiful scenery and photos, it also makes living ten times harder than it needs to be. With my back and how it is, I struggled to go outdoors by myself in danger of slipping on the ice. It's also hard to be outside for long periods of time with it being so cold... this winter it got down to -30 degrees outside. No matter how many hundreds of layers of clothes I put on, the metal work in spine gets so incredibly cold and when it does, it becomes stiff and starts to squeak when I move. Lets just say its like having an ice pop down your spine (super uncomfortable).
Norwegians love the outdoors. They love it the whole year round. They ski in the winter, have bbq's outdoors in the snow and ice fish on the frozen lakes. The last few years I had been able to take part in these activities, almost daily. But this year I couldn't ski and I won't be able to ski, ever again. This year I couldn't stand for hours out on the lake waiting for a fish to bite because standing in one position in the cold really hurts. I did partake in a couple of outdoor bbq's but the pain afterwards made me not want to do it again. It's definitely a mental battle when something that I used to love to do is ripped away from me.
Certain activities I am able to do at the time, for example I can go on long walks with my dogs for an hour or so, or I can go to work for a couple of hours... but then as a consequence I end up in a lot of pain afterwards. I have to try and figure out what is worth the pain and what isn't. I could sit at home for the rest of my life and not do anything just incase it hurts... but I really think that is the wrong attitude to have. I would rather try something once or twice to say that I have at least tried before writing it off completely. Also whether the happiness or joy that something brings me sometimes outweighs the pain. I make sure that I do something everyday that gives me a purpose, that I enjoy or that makes me simply learn something. It's very easy to just sit at home and feel sorry for yourself with a physical disability, but this is a very vicious downward spiral. What do you everyday that makes you feel good about yourself?
Walking my dogs in the forest, being surrounded by the piece of nature whilst gently exercising my body is something that I will always do, no matter the pain. Something that might seem like nothing to you, means a lot to me. But because I do this, people then very quickly jump to conclusions that i'm fine. Or if I go out with friends for a few hours and I seem fine to them then, then all of a sudden they think i’m cured and that theres nothing wrong with me. Well, they're wrong. They don't see what I go through when I get home, or what I go through for the rest of the week. Unless they see me 24 hours a day for 7 days a week I guess they will never know. I don't know one day to the next whether i’m going to physically be able to get out of bed on a morning. But this doesn't stop me from trying to enjoy life like everyone has the right to do. It's hard but I try not to let other people's opinions stop me from doing what is best for me.
Having a bad back has made me learn to be more considerate and patient with people. Someone you think you might know really well, may
actually be really struggling. Not everything is always as it seems and a lot of people fight a battle every day that you know nothing about. Take time to check that those people are ok, because it's often the people that come across the strongest that are the ones who desperately need help or just someone to talk to.Be kind, always.
LP x
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